As crazy as it is to believe, this past weekend I turned the big 2-5. A quarter of a century. Half way to fifty. No longer in my early twenties. Goodness, does this mean I'm getting old?!? Ok, so I'm not really that concerned about getting old, even though my husband may beg to differ, but this weekend did make me reflect on the past 25 years I have lived and the goals I want to achieve. Some I am satisfied with and others I feel like a complete failure. Oh well, I guess that's a part of life.
Growing up I always tried to picture my life and tried to plan accordingly for certain ages and how I expected my life to be at that particular age. Twenty-five went a little like this:
*Be married. (Check! Going on six years, baby! I was hoping for a year or two at this stage in my life, but have loved the extra four or five years.)
*Thinking about having my first baby. (Check! Not only have I thought about having children, I have been blessed with two beautiful boys. They are my everything and make life worth living and rather interesting.)
*Finish college (Fail. There are days that I do regret this, but at the same time would have found it extremely difficult to finish with a baby and a husband who was in school and then career. I always get asked if I will go back one day. Honestly, I don't want to. I don't know exactly what I want to do in life so for now, I feel like it would be pointless. I know I get judged for that response, but so be it. My focus in life now is my kids and family. It is not "what degree did you get" sort of thing. I don't want to spend 3 years behind textbooks when I could be spending those years behind children books reading and enriching my own child's life. Most people don't know that this is a tender topic for me, but it is. I never like giving up on things and at times I feel like I did. Unless I become passionate about a career, I will not be returning to school. I would rather save the money for my son's educations, spend the time with them vs. in a class, or behind the computer on an online class or studying in a text book. Don't like that answer, tough. I will find a job once the boys are in school, but it doesn't have to be a fancy title. I'll save that for my husband.)
*Have a successful career. Either a lawyer (those were the early years), a Spanish teacher or an elementary teacher. (Fail/Check! While I am not a lawyer or teacher I still don't find myself a complete failure on this one. I do feel like a failure in the sense I never did finish college and never got a degree, but I still feel like I am a lawyer and teacher. I am always pointing out what is right and wrong about life, helping kids argue their cases, finding out the truth to a true mystery (like who made that mess) and I am definitely a teacher. I teach my boys about life and all it has to offer. I teach them colors, numbers, letters, how to read, how to use their imagination and so much more. Although I'm not officially a lawyer or teacher, I feel ok.)
*Think about buying a home. (Check! Hard to believe we have had our house for almost 2.5 years. It wouldn't have been possible without my husband's hard work and dedication to saving money.)
*Be fit. (Fail. But hoping to change that. After having the boys, I feel like I let myself go and eat whatever my little heart, er stomach, desired. But, I'm ready to change it! I have now gotten a personal trainer and have been working with her this past week. I try to work out at the Y regularly and try to eat as healthy as possible, which is easier said than done. Why do the unhealthy foods have to taste so good? So, I'm hoping to change this fail into a check.)
*Be a good friend. (I can't be the judge of this, but I hope it's a check. I have multiple relationships that have lasted for years. Some dating back to 2nd grade! To me friends are like my family and I feel like a good friendship gives you a strong foundation on life. They will build you up when you are down. I know my friends do this for me so hopefully they can say the same about me.)
Ok, so I'm not exactly where I pictured myself in life at this time, but I think I'm doing all right. I love the way my life is, well, most days, and I feel like everything that has happened these past twenty five years (both good and bad) have molded me into the person I am today. I'm not perfect, I know it's hard to believe (kidding!) but I try to be the best I can be.
Well, I guess I am officially on my way to 30. EEK! I wonder what the next 25 years of my life will bring. Or where I will be? Crazy thing to think about. Especially knowing that I could very well be a grandma (Hunter will be 30 almost 31, so it is totally possible). Scary. But for now, I'm just going to enjoy life and take it one day and year at a time. Life truly is a beautiful thing, even with all of it's struggles.
